Life in your 40s, 50s and beyond can look very different from when you were younger. Friends might drift apart, family life can feel busier or quieter than it used to, and work pressures can become more demanding. For many of us, these shifts can create a sense of isolation that’s not always talked about.
Many men often feel lonely, talking about it can be hard and for some drinking can become a way to cope.
There’s a growing understanding of male loneliness
We’re in the middle of a male loneliness epidemic. Research suggests that millions of men are experiencing loneliness but suffering in silence. A 2024 study from King’s College London found that older men who reported feeling lonely in the past week drank significantly more than those who didn’t.
Our research from the 2024 Drinkaware Monitor highlights that older men that live alone as well as people that screen positive for depression tend to drink at home alone more often.
Loneliness and drinking can be closely linked but one rarely solves the other. Alcohol is a depressant. It interferes with brain chemicals that regulate your mood, which can make feelings of sadness, stress, or anxiety worse over time. If you’re already feeling isolated, alcohol might just worsen that feeling.
Drinking to connect
Even when not drinking alone, alcohol is often at the heart of how men socialise. Pubs, pints, and drinking in rounds are deeply embedded in UK culture. For many, it can feel like the only way to connect with others, and can make things feel more isolating if you don’t want to drink but feel pressured to join in.
When social interactions revolve around alcohol, it can be difficult to say no, even if you want to. This can lead to drinking out of habit, expectation, or simply to avoid feeling left out.
Is drinking becoming your go-to coping mechanism?
Alcohol can temporarily mask difficult emotions, but in time, it can also make them harder to deal with. If you find yourself regularly drinking to unwind or fill a void, it’s worth taking a step back. Ask yourself:
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Do you reach for a drink after a stressful or lonely day?
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Is it hard to relax or fall asleep without alcohol?
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Are you drinking more often than you used to, or more than you intended?
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Do you feel anxious, irritable or low after drinking (commonly referred to as "hangxiety")?
These could be signs that alcohol is affecting your mental health more than you realise. The good news is that reconnecting with others, finding new ways to cope, and cutting back on alcohol can all help improve your overall wellbeing.
What could help instead
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Acknowledge how you feel: there’s no shame in admitting you feel lonely
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Start small: go for a walk with a mate, a phone call with a loved one, a sports club or a community group
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Switch up your routine: try building in several drink-free days in your week and swapping a trip to the pub for something different like a coffee or a gym
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Track your drinking: the MyDrinkaware app can help you spot patterns and stay within the low-risk guidelines (no more than 14 units a week)
If your drinking or feelings of loneliness are worrying you, it’s important to know that help is available. Reaching out, reconnecting with people, and adjusting your drinking habits can all make a big difference.
You can talk to your GP or explore support services on our website. Why not check out Andy’s Man Club which runs free, confidential peer support sessions for men every Monday across the UK. Check where your nearest club is here.