How speaking to strangers helped Oli change his relationship with alcohol
When Oli was given a final warning at work because of his drinking, he knew he needed to change. Watch his video below as he discusses how attending the first Andy's Man Club meant he no longer used alcohol as a crutch.
For Oli, drinking wasn’t the root of his problems, but a symptom of deeper issues during a difficult period in his life. A painful breakup left him without a home, staying with friends and family, and he lost three friends in the space of six months. But it was only once he moved into his own flat that he began to struggle with his mental health.
With no one around and nowhere to hide from his thoughts, he started going out more, to avoid being alone, leaning on alcohol more as a way to escape how he was feeling.
“I was coming home from work...and within 10 minutes I got changed and I was back out the door on the way to the pub just to be around other people.”
His performance at work began to suffer as a result of his drinking. He was waking up hungover, which affected his productivity, he was phoning in sick, and it got to the point where he was given a final written warning. He knew he needed to change and was signed off work for six weeks to sort himself out.
It was during his time off work that Oli attended the first ever Andy’s Man Club meeting. He said he went into the group with no idea what to expect, but he quickly realised everyone else felt the same – wanting to open up but didn’t know where to start. When it came to his turn to say his name and his reason for coming, the floodgates opened, and Oli ended up speaking for 20 minutes and sharing things he had never spoken about before.
“There was electricity in the room. We realised just how powerful having these conversations were.”
Since then, Oli has turned his life around, he has four kids, he’s engaged and now he wants to help as many men as possible to receive the same level of support that he received that first night at Andy's Man Club.
“I now enjoy drinking alcohol rather than a support mechanism or a crutch. I drink to enjoy myself rather than escape anything.”
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Need support now? Samaritans provides confidential, non-judgemental support, 24 hours a day. Call them on 116 123 or email them at jo@samaritans.org
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