When to talk to children about alcohol

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Getting the timing right and what form the conversation should take.

It’s best to start early. Drinkaware research shows children’s openness to their parents’ influence changes dramatically as they grow up. Between the ages of eight and 12, children generally accept what their parents say about alcohol. However, 13 -17 year-olds increasingly pay attention to their friends.

Children will probably be curious and ask questions when they see you drinking. It’s best to address these as they come up rather than let them think that alcohol is something mysterious to be kept secret. That could make them even more curious and more likely to drink.

Studies show the most important thing which you can do to help your children is to provide them with a good model by drinking sensibly yourself(1).  That means staying within the recommended guidelines (3-4 units a day for men, 2-3 for women).

Make sure your children know the number of units in different drinks.
There are 1.5 units in a small (125ml) glass of 12% wine and between two and three units in a pint of standard beer. It’s also important for young people to bear in mind that different brands of drinks vary in strength. For example, wine can range from around 11% to 14% alcohol volume.

The Drinkaware unit calculator lets you see exactly how many units are in different measures and brands of drinks. 

Your kids may ask why you can drink and they can’t. Make sure they know that alcohol is more dangerous for young, developing bodies. For example, it can harm brain development. Also, people with smaller bodies or who aren’t used to drinking regularly will feel the effect of alcohol more.

Talk about the effects alcohol will have on your child’s appearance (calories, skin dehydration) and relationships (falling out with friends or not being attractive to the opposite sex). It might be more effective than warning them about the long-term risks of drinking, which can seem a world away when you’re 16 or 17.

You could ask your child if they’ve talked about alcohol in school. Finding out what they’ve learnt can be a good starting point for discussion. Alcohol will usually be discussed in science lessons and in Personal, Social and Health Education (PSHE) or Citizenship (or equivalent) classes. However, with 101 other topics competing for attention, teachers are rarely able to devote that much time to it. That’s why it’s important for you to talk to your children about alcohol.

Top 5 tips

  • Children see alcohol products and adults drinking when they’re very young. They’re likely to be curious, so it’s never too early to start talking about it.
  • The affects of alcohol often crop up in soap operas, films and news stories, as well as in magazines and newspapers. This can be a good opportunity to introduce the topic.
  • Alcohol should be something you and your children can talk about naturally. Nobody wants to sit down and have ‘The Alcohol Talk’. If your child’s curious about alcohol and asks you about it, answer frankly and honestly.
  • Find a natural time to talk. Just as your child is stepping out the door on the way to a party isn’t the time to warn of the dangers of drinking.
  • If your child does get drunk try not to overreact. Talk to them about it the next morning: listen to what they have to say and try to understand their situation.

Useful contacts

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Footnotes

(1) Latendresse SL,Rose RJ,Viken RJ, Pulkkinen L, Kaprio J et al’Parenting Mechanisms in Links Between Parents' and Adolescents' Alcohol Use Behaviors’ in Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research, 2008: 32: 2; 322-330

Page last updated by
Root User, 19 Apr 2010.
Page checked on
04 Nov 2009.