Stag and hen party survival guide

With around 300,000 people getting married in the UK each year, chances are you’re off to at least one wedding this summer. Which means there’s also a good chance you’ve also been invited to the accompanying stag or hen party.

But while the wedding is (usually) a cause for celebration, the stag or hen do is more of a mixed blessing. Despite the growing popularity of activities that don’t revolve around alcohol – spa days, chocolate tasting, clay pigeon shooting and so on – heavy drinking is still a feature of many stag and hen parties. Which is why It’s not only the bride- or groom-to-be who views them with trepidation.

“I dread stag dos,” admits Roger, a journalist from Brighton. “The worst thing is the lack of control. You’re forced to go along with what the group is doing. Nobody wants to be a killjoy on a stag night, so before you know it you’re being talked into doing tequila shots and playing drinking games you grew out of years ago.

“And while it’s great to get together with old friends, it’s not so much fun when the best man is someone you’ve hardly met who seems hell bent on dragging everyone round over-priced strip clubs.

“Expense can also be a problem. You feel disloyal if you say ‘no’ to a stag do invite – but the costs can really stack up, especially if you’re staying overnight.”

Hen and stag history

Parties to mark the rite of passage from carefree single days to respectable married life go back to ancient history. But it’s only in the last couple of decades that stag and hen dos have grown into the bloated beasts they are today.

Until recently, a stag night meant a few drinks in the local pub the night before the wedding. The stag might have to endure the odd ritual humiliation, and perhaps a stripogram would make an appearance.

While holding a dinner for female friends and family of the bride-to-be is a tradition common to many cultures, hen nights as we know them are a recent invention. It’s only since the 1990s that a hen do has become an integral part of a woman’s wedding preparations.

Stag and hen industry

Today, the “last night of freedom” often means a whole lost weekend – or even longer. An industry has grown up to organise the complete stag or hen experience, complete with paintballing, go-karting, spa days, recording your own pop single and even souvenir t-shirts (complete with matching thong). Foreign dos have also become popular thanks to the growth in cheap air travel.

But whatever the destination and the daytime doings, it’s more often than not the drinking which remains the focus of most stag and hen dos. Drinking games, drinking in large rounds, ill-advised shots and cocktails… even seasoned party people can find themselves drinking more and faster than they can cope with, and suffering the consequences.

Being sick and hangovers that ruin the rest of the weekend are one thing. But excessive drunkenness also increases the risk of accidents and getting into fights – particularly with large, single-sex groups. And while losing your wallet in Blackpool is bad enough, losing your passport in Bratislava is a headache you could really do without.

Your choice

It’s highly likely that any stag or hen do you go on will involve alcohol to some degree. But it doesn’t have to end in expensive drunken disorder and regrettable behaviour if you don’t want it to.

Remember you’re probably not the only one in the group with misgivings. And you do have a choice about how much you drink – even if you’re the stag or hen – so don’t feel that you have to drink large amounts of alcohol.

Surviving a stag or hen do

Here are some tips to help you stay in control on your stag or hen night:

1. Eat a proper meal. Not only will the food help to soak up the alcohol, but it’s also a rare chance to enjoy some proper conversation with your friends. Alternating alcoholic drinks with water and soft options will also give your body a chance to catch up.

2. Opt out of the drinks kitty. Handing your cash over to the best man or head hen is a sure-fire way to end up drinking faster and spending more money than you mean to. Avoid drinking in rounds for the same reasons – if you’re in a large group of people, the rounds will be equally as big. 

3. Volunteer to video the event or act as the official photographer. It will give you an excuse to stay sober – and to embarrass those who don’t.

4. Plan your escape route. Make sure everyone knows how they’re getting home at the end of the night – particularly if you’re staying in an unfamiliar city. Arrange a meeting point in case anyone gets lost. Store some taxi numbers in your phone, and make sure your battery is charged.

5. Look out for each other. Stag and hen parties should be all about friendship: make sure your friends stay safe.

While novelty handcuffs are a common stag-night accessory, nobody wants to end up in a real pair, so be ready to step in before any trouble starts. Drinking games and unfamiliar drinks can make people consume large amounts of alcohol in a short space of time: be alert to the signs of alcohol poisoning.

Page last updated by

Matthew Bateman, 12 May 2010.

Page checked on

12 May 2010