Talking to your children about alcohol

Government statistics show that over half of 11 to 15-year-olds have already tried at least one alcoholic drink with their friends (NHS report, Smoking, drinking and drug use among young people in England, 2006).

Sadly, research also reveals that underage experimentation can also lead to unprotected sex as well as accidents. Of the 1,004 boys and 1,175 girls who took part in a recent study, 11% had engaged in unprotected sex while drunk, and 25% had been involved in an accident of some kind.

“Talking about alcohol before children start to experiment can help,” says Carys Davis from Alcohol Concern. “Children pick up information on alcohol from a young age from sources like older siblings or TV advertising, and so talking casually about alcohol within the family is sensible.”

Forty per cent of parents interviewed in our survey said that they would proactively teach their childern about alcohol and thought the right age to do this was at around 14 and a half. But with the average age children first try alcohol being 13 and a half that might not be effective as those parents think.   

Be the right role model

“I’ve always had a really close relationship with my 11-year-old daughter,” says Brighton-based single mum Dawn. “So when I found a bottle of alcopop in her wardrobe I was furious that she was hiding something from me.”

After the initial row, Dawn realised that her own drinking habits might be influencing her daughter’s attitude to alcohol.  

“We’re a sociable house and there’s often a bottle of wine open on Friday night,” she says. “I realised that because my daughter sees me with a glass of wine at the weekend, it’s natural she’d want to find out what all the fuss was about.”

Experts agree that parents’ drinking habits are often an important factor in the way children experience alcohol. A recent ICM survey for Drinkaware also found that almost half of the 16-17 year olds interviewed had seen their parents drunk.

“Parents should try to be aware of the influence their own attitude to alcohol has on their children,” says Carys. “If children see parents mixing drinks and losing control, they’re likely to think, ‘If Mum and Dad can do it, so can I’.”

Get talking together

It might come as a surprise but 51% of the young people interviewed in the ICM survey admitted they still listen to their parents when it comes to drinking. Dawn for one is glad she’s now taking time to talk with her daughter about positive attitudes to drinking.

“I’m really trying to help her understand that drinking too much too often isn’t healthy and can make you feel terrible the next day,” she says. “I’m also monitoring my own drinking far more than before.

“But the best thing to come out of this experience is that I feel even closer to my daughter,” says Dawn. “The most important thing for me is letting her know that if she’s under pressure to drink, or has problems with friends getting drunk, she can call me first.”

Simple ways to get the conversation about alcohol going with your kids:

• Stuck for a starting point? Then turn on the TV. Family-friendly soaps like Hollyoaks and Eastenders place pubs at the heart of the action. Use them as a way to talk to your kids about how characters relate to alcohol.
• Be realistic. Children know that alcohol isn’t always bad news. Talk about why adults like to drink as well as highlighting the risks of drinking too much.
• Help your children find ways to say no. Remember the power of peer pressure when you were young? Teach children how to say “no” to alcohol without losing face. Lines like “I can’t, I’ve got to keep fit for football” can work a treat.
• Be a positive role model. For better or for worse your children’s attitude to alcohol is directly influenced by your behaviour. If you’re drinking more than the Government’s recommended daily guidelines (three to four units of alcohol per day for men and two to three for women), then find ways to cut down. Using the Drinkaware drink diary is a good way to start.
• Keep track of your children. Most underage drinking goes on when kids are off the radar, so try and make sure you know where your children are at all times. 

Chief Medical Officer guidance

In December 2009 The Chief Medical Officer (CMO) published guidance on the consumption of alcohol by children and young people. You can read the guidance on the Department of Health website.

You can also read a consultation on children, young people and alcohol on the Department for Children, Schools, and Families website.

Page last updated by

Matthew Bateman, 06 Jan 2010.

Page checked on

28 Jan 2009