Parents, children and alcohol through the ages

When it comes to alcohol and kids, every parent has a different tale to tell. From angrily lecturing a hungover 16-year-old the morning after the night before, to sensible discussions about the risks of alcohol to barely talking about it all, parents react in wildly varied ways to the idea of their children drinking.

We sat down with parents and children from four generations to hear how they discussed alcohol in their households.

Jessica Cameron, 26, is a music teacher from London

“My parents did speak to me about alcohol, but not until I came in horribly drunk one night when I was 15. The day after, my dad was really angry, but after he calmed down, we had a chat about it.

“He made me see that drinking that much was risky – who knows what could have happened if the wrong person had come across me, or I could have had an accident. He never said I wasn’t allowed to drink – I think that would have made me rebel – but he did make it clear that getting into that state wasn’t acceptable, and there would be consequences if I did it again.

“To be honest, I didn’t enjoy being that drunk anyway. After that whole incident of course I drank again, but I’ve never been in that really bad state of drunkenness since.”

Mary MacDonald, 56, from Edinburgh, has two children, Jack, 20, and Nicola, 24

“I think you need to make sure your kids know the dangers of drinking too much. I tried to instil that in my kids from an early age, whenever the subject of alcohol came up.

“I’ve also tried to set a good example by drinking in moderation myself, so they won’t think binge drinking is normal.

“Whenever either of them has really gone over the line with drinking, I’ve had a word, although I try not to berate them now because they’re old enough to decide for themselves.”

Barney Jeffries, 30, a journalist from Littlehampton, has one daughter, Innis, 18 months

“Children are curious, so I’m sure Innis will ask questions about alcohol, which I’ll try to answer honestly – I certainly don’t want it to be a taboo subject. I’m assuming it’s a subject that will arise naturally, with different questions at different ages.

“I think openness is really important. Of course she may get stupidly drunk one day, but I’d hate to think she couldn’t talk to me about it. Or that she might get into a car with a stranger or someone who’s over the limit at 3am rather than phone me to ask for a lift.

“I would let her try alcohol from an early age, up to a point. I remember sipping the froth from my dad’s beer and trying my mum’s homemade wine, and I’ve turned out OK.

“I think my parents set a good example. They’d drink moderately with meals, but I never saw them get drunk or drinking for the sake of drinking.”

Hilda Campbell, 78, from Perth, has two children, Peter, 53, and Caroline, 55

“When I was young, in the 1940s and 1950s, we didn’t drink nearly as much as people do now. We couldn’t afford it, and women just didn’t get drunk back then, it was seen as improper.  But I did enjoy a drink or two. I used to like a gin and tonic or a sherry.

“As my children grew up, in the 1960s and 1970s, people were drinking more, but still not as much as they do today. I used to warn them both about too much alcohol, especially my daughter, because young girls drinking a lot was still seen as a bit indecent then.

“But they would both still occasionally come home after I’d gone to bed and you’d hear them crashing around. I would punish them by waking them up at 7am the next morning!

“I think if I were bringing up children nowadays, with all the alcohol available, I would try to speak to them more about the risks. But back then, a big discussion didn’t seem necessary because alcohol wasn’t such a big issue.

Jamie Lewis, 14, from London

“My mum and dad are always saying not to get drawn into drinking and not to do it just because my friends are. I know some people are pressured by their mates, but my group isn’t really like that.
“We had a party at my friend’s house a couple of months ago, and there was a few beers and alcopops sneaked in. That was the first time I’d tried alcohol properly, apart from my parents letting me taste a little, but I didn’t get really drunk.

“My parents found out that I'd had a few drinks, and I think they were worried because the day after they sat me down and talked to me about it. My mum was a bit angry, and said I was too young, but my dad just said that if you’re going to drink, don’t overdo it and keep yourself safe. I think that was better, because I’m probably going to drink whether they like it or not.”

Chief Medical Officer guidance

The Chief Medical Officer (CMO) has produced official guidance to help parents protect their children from the harms associated with early alcohol use. You can read the full consultation on children, young people and alcohol - and have your say on the subject - on the Department for Children, Schools, and Families website.

Page last updated by

Root User, 19 Apr 2010.

Page checked on

26 Aug 2009