Do parents leave it too late to talk to their children about alcohol?

Can you remember your first drink?

A pint in the local with your dad at 16? Or swigging from a bottle in the park with your friends as a newly turned teenager?  When, where and who you were with when you had your first drink is likely to depend on your generation.

It’s also liable to affect your current attitude to alcohol – that’s according to the report, Use of Alcohol among Children and Young People,  by the Department of Children, Schools and Families.  The report stated that children who first use alcohol at home, and learn about its effects from parents, are less likely to misuse alcohol than those who begin drinking outside the home and experiment with their peers.

In a bid to glean insights into what motivates young people to drink, and find out more about prevailing attitudes on the issue of underage drinking, Drinkaware partnered with the Guardian to poll the public. We surveyed 16 to 17 year olds, parents of 10 to 17 year olds, and professionals who work with children and young people.

We then held a roundtable debate to provide an opportunity for key thinkers from Government, industry, health, social marketing, and youth and parenting organisations to explore the outcomes of the survey and to discuss what kind of drinking culture we need for a healthy future.

View debate and discussion from the 'alcohol and young people' roundtable debate.

Are parents missing an opportunity?

Four out of 10 parents surveyed said they would proactively teach their children about alcohol and thought the right age to broach the subject, on average, was around 14 and a half. Which seems sensible when the average age this group of parents had their first drink was 16. But the survey also asked 16 and 17 year olds about their experiences of alcohol – and found, on average, they had their first drink was 13 and a half.

However well intentioned, are parents missing their opportunity to influence their children’s attitude to alcohol?

Giving guidance

While there have been official government drinking guidelines for adults for many years, there has been little guidance for under-18s and their parents. In January 2009, Government proposed advice for young people and their parents about alcohol was published by the Chief Medical Officer, Sir Liam Donaldson, which was later published in December 2009. It stated that children should not drink before they’re 15, and between 15 and 17 they should only drink when they’re supervised by a parent or other adult.

The guidance also emphasises the importance of parents’ influence on their children’s drinking.

Just how much influence do parents have on their children's attitudes to alcohol?

Half of those young people surveyed said they currently listen to their parents about drinking alcohol, More than a third said they would prefer to listen to their parents about drinking alcohol (rather than friends and siblings). Only 3% wanted to listen to teachers.

Jack Law, CEO of information and awareness charity Alcohol Focus Scotland, agreed that parents were a major influence on young people’s attitudes, but recognised that their role went further than “having a heart to heart about drinking”.

Contrary to our survey findings he argued that; “young people don’t listen that much to their parents.” But went on to say that; “they watch them a lot. They pick up clues and ideas about alcohol through their parents’ behaviour. It’s what they do at a dinner party, or when they have friends over that’s important,” he said.

Half of the young people surveyed said they’d seen their parents drunk, and around half of parents said they do not drink less when their children are around – suggesting that the information they give their children is not necessarily reflected in their own behavior. This “do as I say, not as I do” approach was problematic in Law’s view: “It’s really important that what you do reflects what you say. All too often, we give them contradictory information and cause great confusion as a consequence.”

Changing behaviour

Sally Gimson, Director of Communications at the Family and Parenting Institute, a research and policy organisation, suggested starting a dialogue with children as early as possible could help them form responsible attitudes.

“We know from all our research that children model what they do on what happens at home. But it’s also important that parents are talking to their children about alcohol from a very young age. Because alcohol is so much part of our culture, we don’t necessarily think about talking to our children about why we drink it and how vulnerable you can get if you drink it to excess.”

Tim Martin, Chairman of JD Wetherspoon and representing the drinks industry at the discussion, accused parents of “pretending young people’s drinking was a young person’s problem” in the first place. “It’s a cultural issue,” he said. “Why do we pretend it’s a young person’s issue? So it doesn’t have to affect our own behaviour. There’s been a fundamental dislocation – we don’t want to change our behaviour as adults.”

The role of schools

The Drinkaware survey found three-quarters of professionals (teachers, health professionals, social care professionals and others) believed it was parents who should be the most responsible for delivering messages about alcohol to children and young people.

Yet, the role of more formal education was a recurring theme during the discussion.

Baroness Delyth Morgan, Lords Minister for the Department of Children, Schools and Families, stressed the importance of alcohol education in schools. She explained that from autumn 2009, the Government will be looking at revising and developing the curriculum around PSHE (personal social and health education). “This has come from young people who say they want to have much more sensible advice around drugs, alcohol and relationships. It also means that teachers will need to have really good training around these questions.”

Parents surveyed supported this move. A quarter wanted more information on alcohol for young people in schools.

How to deliver the message

Clive Blair-Stevens, Co-founder and Deputy Director of the National Social Marketing Centre, believes schools have to avoid a “narrow education model” that concentrates on information giving.

“Lessons in schools work when they focus on understanding the social context for young people,” he said. “They need to look at the influences in their lives, such as their friends. And how to help them prepare some life skills, so when the information comes in they can process it effectively themselves.”

The social and emotional impact of the messages for young people are key, producing much stronger effects than warning or scaremongering. Dr Dawn Harper, GP and TV presenter said: “When you talk to a 15 year old about what’s going to happen to them when they’re 40, they don’t care. They think you’re so past it by then, it’s just not relevant. If we want them to listen, we need to be talking to them about how they look, feel and how they appear in front of their peers.”

Hannah Jolliffe is Editorial Manager at YouthNet, an online charity providing information and support to young people. Joliffe regularly monitors forums where young people discuss issues such as sex, drugs and alcohol. She said: “It’s about making the messages appeal to young people.  Rather than saying ‘these are the facts, this is what you should know’, we need to get them to look at things like the way they behave when they’re drunk.”

Jolliffe also emphasised how important it is for parents and teachers to be able to offer emotional support about the issues surrounding drinking. “We shouldn’t be saying ‘Ok, you’re drinking too much, here’s our leaflet, now stop.’ We need to be asking ‘Why are you drinking? How can I support you with those issues that are bothering you?’ ”

Whose job is it anyway?

Whether they represented industry, parents, government or young people themselves, everyone involved in the discussion agreed that there was scope for far more joint working. Those surveyed shared this view. More than nine out of 10 professionals working with young people said they felt agencies, parents and schools needed to work together better to prevent the harm done by alcohol.

The discussion regularly returned to the need for cultural change. And that looking beyond young people and their attitudes was essential.

“One of the big things is the public perception of drinking,” said Jack Law.  “Our culture still celebrates drunkenness; it still sees the purpose of drinking as to get drunk. One thing we need to continually feed into our conversations about alcohol is the fact you can drink alcohol without having to get drunk. You can drink for the pleasure of the taste and flavour. In terms of chipping at culture, that’s where it must start.”

Looking forward

Derek Lewis, Chairman of Drinkaware concluded: “It’s very clear that there’s no single solution to the issue of the consumption of alcohol by teenagers in particular. There are myriad of solutions that need trying and testing around the country. What’s very much lacking is a mechanism of bringing together those things that work effectively and putting resources behind them to make sure they have long-term impact.”

Lewis warned against raising expectations of an imminent solution. “This is a generation’s work we’re facing.”

View more debate and discussion from the 'alcohol and young people' roundtable debate.

For advice, tips and resources on Talking to under 18s  visit our dedicated area for parents and professionals working with under 18s.

For more on the subject of alcohol and young people and our partnership with the Guardian, you can visit the Drinkaware pages on the Guardian site.

Further survey results

Here's what else we learned from interviewing 553 16 to 17 year olds as part of the Drinkaware/ Guardian survey.

• Nearly 80% of them said they drank at friends’ houses
• 44% said they kept their own drinks at home
• 60% see it as a normal part of growing up
• Only 15% of them said they believed getting drunk as behaviour that caused them the most concern. They saw committing a crime, having unsafe sex, taking drugs and failing exams as being far greater concerns.

Roundtable debate attendees

Sarah Boseley - Health Editor at the Guardian

Tim Martin – Founder and Chairman of JD Wetherspoon

Jack Law – CEO of Alcohol Focus Scotland

Sally Grimson – Director of Communications at the Family and Parenting Institute 

Baroness Delyth Morgan – Lords Minister for the Department of Children, Schools and Families (DCFS)

Clive Blair-Stevens – Co-founder and Deputy Director of the National Social Marketing Centre

Hannah Jolliffe – Editorial Manager at YouthNet

Dr Dawn Porter – GP and TV and radio presenter

Derek Lewis – Chairman of the Drinkaware Trust

Page last updated by

Matthew Bateman, 06 Jan 2010.

Page checked on

26 Aug 2009