The importance of looking after your mates

There's more to a good night out than drinking. And there’s more to being a good friend on a night out than slurring in someone’s ear that you really love them and they’re your beshtesht mate in the whole world. Drinking alcohol can make people to do stupid things, and sometimes get into unpleasant or dangerous situations. By looking out for each other, you and your mates can make sure the good times don’t turn bad.

What are friends for

Sometimes being a good mate is more about the things you don’t do than what you do on a night out. A contributing factor to having a really good night is that shared sense of good feeling when you are all really in the zone. The flipside of this, however is that it only takes one person having a few too many to spoil the night for everyone. 

The next day there might be a bit of banter about the fact that one of your party was too drunk to get into the club, went AWOL, or maybe had a bit of agro with someone on the dance floor, and often these events are enough to take the shine off of what was shaping up to be a legendary night out.

When things go wrong

Many of us have  seen our friends the worse for wear after a heavy night’s drinking. But sometimes the consequences are more serious than sore heads and texts to the wrong people.

Hundreds of young people end up in hospital every week because of booze: nearly half  of people admitted to A&E have alcohol-related injuries or illnesses.  Alcohol-fuelled violence is common late at night in town centres –in nearly half  of all violent incidents, victims believed offenders to be under the influence of alcohol. 

If you and your friends are out on the pull, it’s not just "beer goggles" clouding your judgement that you need to worry about. People who are drinking are much more likely to have unprotected sex, leading to unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

Of course, in the main, nights out pass without (negative) incident and a good time is had by all. And by removing the exacerbating effects of excessive alcohol consumption you stand a much better chance of you and your mates having a night you will all want to remember.

Tips for being a good mate

It’s important to remember that being a good friend doesn’t just begin when things start to go wrong and the pieces need picking up, there are a number of things you can do to ensure a good night ends in the same way.

Before you go out
Why not suggest getting together for something to eat? If you drink on an empty stomach, you can get very drunk, very quickly. When you’ve got some food inside you, the alcohol doesn’t get absorbed into your bloodstream so fast, so you’ll be more in control.

If your budget doesn’t stretch to eating out, make something simple at home. Sharing a meal is a sociable thing to do, and can get your evening off to a great start.

Planning the night
Make a decision about how much you're going to drink and how to stick to your limit.

If you’re having a night out, it’s a good idea to arrange a time and a place to meet if you get separated. Don’t rely on mobiles – they may get lost or stolen, batteries run out, and you might not be able to hear them anyway if you’re out somewhere loud.

Avoid rounds
Buying rounds for each other may seem like the sociable thing to do, but it puts pressure on people to drink quickly and at the same pace of the fastest drinker. It also means you might end up having more than you had planned. It’s better to let everyone drink at their own pace.

Look out for each other
Drinking affects our judgement, and it’s easy to end up doing something stupid. If a friend is getting into an awkward situation – arguing with a bouncer, getting chatted up by a lecherous predator, challenging the rugby team to a tequila-drinking contest – be ready to step in and get them out of it.

If you’re in a big group, it’s sometimes hard to tell who has drunk too much until it’s too late. But if your friend seems unsteady on their feet, or they’re slurring their words or acting erratically, they’ve had one too many. Try to get them to have some water or a soft drink, or take them outside to get a breath of fresh air. Most importantly, don’t leave them alone.

Closing time
Make sure you know how you’re all getting home. Check the bus or train timetable or keep the number of a reputable cab firm on your speed dial. Don’t use unlicensed cabs, and never let your friends get a lift with somebody who’s been drinking. If you’ve got a long trip home on public transport, there’s a danger of falling asleep, so set the alarm on your phone in time for your stop.

Instead of spending your last £20 on a round of flaming sambucas, keep some cash aside to pay for bus tickets or a cab fare. You’ll earn your friends’ undying gratitude.

A friend in need

If you have managed to look after your mates successfully, no one will have drunk too much. But if  someone has got really drunk despite your efforts, don't let them go home on their own, even if it means your night has to end early. If they’ve been drinking quickly, the alcohol is still entering their bloodstream, so they’re likely to feel more drunk before they start sobering up.

Make sure they get home safely, and try to get them to drink some water. Don’t leave them until you’re certain they’re OK.

And when they tell you you’re their beshtesht mate in the whole world, you’ll have deserved it.

Page last updated by

Root User, 04 Sep 2009.

Page checked on

24 Aug 2009