Sex, relationships and students

A new  life, a new place, hundreds of potential friends and lovers, and cheap alcohol– university life is exciting and can be intoxicating, in more than one sense.

It might well be fun at the time, but when you wake up the next morning, goggles removed, will you still feel the same way? Too much alcohol might well lower your inhibitions giving you that added confidence boost, but it can also impair your judgement too.

‘Last year I met  a guy in the student union, and largely because of my inebriated state ended up going home with him that night,’ says Amanda Smith, 20. ‘We had a fun night, but it was so awkward the next morning. And it still is – my university town is known as “the bubble” because it’s so small, and I seem to see him everywhere – the library, the supermarket. It’s quite uncomfortable.’

No regrets

So, how do you make sure you don’t wake up the morning after the night before with that, “oh no! What did I do feeling?”

Not drinking too much is  the best way. Make a clear decision about how much you're going to drink, and make some plans to help you stick to your limit. Remember, if you keep to the government's daily unit guidelines of not regularly drinking more than 3-4 units a day for men (equivalent to a pint and a half of 4% beer) and 2-3 for women (equivalent to a 175ml glass of wine), you should be able to keep your wits about you enough to fend off that drunk, lecherous classmate.

Eating before you go out will line your stomach and stop the alcohol getting into your system so quickly, so you don’t get so drunk. Having water or a soft drink breaks when you’re out will also help.

‘When you’re drunk you’re easily influenced, and unable to make sensible decisions,’ says Gemma King from the sexual health advice service Brook [www.brook.org.uk]. ‘It’s easier for someone to convince you having sex is a good idea. So make a pact to stick with your friends at all times when you’re out. Hopefully they’ll be able to tell you if the person you’re interested in looks unsuitable. They’ll also stop you risking your safety by, for example, going off in a car with someone you don’t know.’

Drunk sex can also be rubbish sex. It’s worth bearing in mind that alcohol makes it more difficult for men to get an erection, and can decrease the intensity of your orgasm, if you manage to achieve one at all , for both men and women. Stay sober and the chances are it’ll be a better experience.

Stay safe

If you do have sex with someone,  it’s important to use contraception, or you might wake up with more than just a hangover. More than half of all cases of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are transmitted because sexual partners are drunk.

‘A condom is the only way to prevent STIs,’ says Gemma. ‘Always have one easy to hand, and be careful unwrapping it and putting it on – you won’t be able to coordinate yourself as well when you’re drunk. You might think using a condom isn’t important in the heat of the moment, but you may well regret it later.’

Relationships 

What if you’re trying to maintain a relationship, either with someone from uni or with your boyfriend or girlfriend from home?

All the temptations of student life are still there, and it can be difficult. Too much alcohol can lead to cheating, and a lot of hurt feelings.

‘I really love my girlfriend, but I turn into a bit of a monster if I drink too much,’ says Tom Harris, 22. ‘We go to different universities, and I’m ashamed to say I’ve cheated on her on nights out. I’ve cut down on my drinking to try to make sure it doesn’t happen again.’

References

1. NHS choices: Know your limits: http://units.nhs.uk/mythsDebunked.html

2.   NHS choices: Know your limits: http://units.nhs.uk/mythsDebunked.html

Page last updated by

Matthew Bateman, 05 Oct 2011.

Page checked on

26 Aug 2009